Why I avoid cleaning the bathrooms

I have lived by check lists and usually cleaning the bathrooms is on that list. Well, it is still on the list, but from a different perspective. 

In my house daily, yes, daily there is cleaning to be done. You all know what I mean - the dogs come in from the house and you have to re-sweep the floors. Or, the water in the sink splashes and you have to re-mop the floors. Somedays I wish my prince would come rescue me out of my "Cinderella" life, especially because I would get those shoes and hopefully a housekeeper!  But, since that fairy tale is a fiction I decided for every chore on my "to-do" list I decided to add a choice. So, today I choose to celebrate my friend who finished her first half marathon, snuggle with my dogs, talk with my mother, and see my friend. I think instead of my "to do" list mentality I am making a "to be" daily agenda and for today top on the list is to be full of health and happiness. Well, now that I think about it my new list will include cleaning the bathrooms, but reframed in a way that I may actually get it done!

ChoreMonster is an effective tool to support children in developing executive function skills.

Just found a cool app that allows parents to engage with chore duties in a fun, techno-savvy, way.  Such a creative company and one I sure wish I had thought of to invent.

https://www.choremonster.com/press

Also, I enjoyed reading some of their blog posts on ways to calm childhood nightmares, innovative fall chore lists, and more; along with the post for parents and professionals.

http://blog.choremonster.com/

Single woman adoption and sexism - a no tolerance zone!

Parenting by any measure is a tough/life changing job. When adding adoption as a single gal to the mix most folks say, "Wow! You must really have energy!"  Or, "I could never do it."  I find such comments odd, yet not unusual. Folks do not regularly know what they can handle and I believe it is because they may not have planned well enough. Since I love by my Aunt Pat's motto, "Prior planning prevents a poor performance" I really do not feel unprepared to be a parent, however the universe beings a baby to me. 

Just recentlg another single, adoptive mother-to-be posted that she had gotten her first negative comment for wanting to adopt as a single gal. My response is below, 

"You are an amazing angel who is willing to share her home and her heart with another beautiful being to help them experience a lovely life, learn, laugh, grow, flourish, heal, and inspire. Frankly, I don't tolerate those who live by 1900 values where it was okay to be rude to women, take away their voice.  It is completely unacceptable and I immediately nip it in he bud because sexism (well, actually any -ism) is just utter ignorance and needs to be shaken up to be stopped!  

I must have done something backwards because I started with getting all the support I would need/want before even calling a home study agency. Then, I hired my attorney (kind of made me feel it was official and I had some backbone). Next, I asked a friend to do my home study, which didn't pan out so I called Connecting Hearts to do my study. Amy was great and helped share my story even invited me to a free "A Family of My Own" conference where I learned so much great stuff. Now, I am waiting to hear if the birth mother chose me as she's in with her counselor today. Basically, though this whole process when I felt worried or wondered about my abilities to "do it" all my support team stepped up and said, "You are a perfect mother."  Keep repeating that mantra to yourself and be the brave voice your child needs you toward the way for a better world."

Labor Day....labor of love in the kitchen

Happy Labor Day to all!  As I sit in the family room at my mother's home watching the sunrise over the lake I am reminded that the world is a beautiful place.  This week I have been struggling with the challenges that naturally come from deciding to hire someone to deliver a baby for you.  Truly, it has been a week where the emotional pain of realizing that I cannot carry a child of my own, on my own, has been a bit too overwhelming. 

Saturday I spent the good part of the morning have a delightful time cooking homemade lentil burgers and salmon patties.  I put everything except the kitchen sink in those things - carrots, zucchini, sundried tomatoes, fresh herbs, and more.  In the end I think I made over 45 burgers/patties.  Then, I made a fresh broccoli salad with craisins and slivered almonds.  Talk about a full fridge!  It dawned on me, while wearing my apron and humming to music in the background, that I am pouring loads of love into my food so that my body, and family, can be healthy, strong, and ready for action/adventure.  Then, a horrible thought, actually, a few thoughts, flooded my mind regarding my potential birth mother's Saturday.  Wonder what someone in that condition might be doing on her weekend?  Questions keep flooding my mind:

"What if the birth mother really does take drugs during her pregnancy?"
"I bet a birth mother is probably not cooking up a storm of solid, organic foods over a few hours on a Saturday.  Wonder what that will do for the baby?"

To spare you I decided not to write up my entire list because frankly I will have no control over what she does or does not do with her body and during birth.  It has become a very freaky experience and in some ways making me fret the whole process.  Even now I am researching egg and sperm donors to see if I can carry a child, even if I do not have the joy of giving it some of my genetics.  At least it will be raised in a house that has amazing food!

Free fun and art!!

Hi all,

Last week my friend Christine was coloring a picture with her own photo on it. I thought it was a hoot and such fun!  So, I asked for info. Crayola let's you upload your own photos and make personalized coloring pages with them. 

Here's the Crayola info. 

Go to www.crayola.com

Select "Playzone"

Then, "Lights, camera, action!"

Type in code:  C9PBY9PJ

Make sure to allow the video to play as selecting "Skip" cuts off the program and you have to start over. 

Enjoy!

Choices, Changes, and Confidence

Whoa!  This is been a BUSY first week back to work, and it has taught me I will be deeply changing in many areas of my life when I have a sweet, young one. 

I feel quite unbalanced with work, family, friends, pets, health, chores, and other responsibilities. Mostly I am realizing how difficult and expensive "extra" requests will be in my future. For example on Wednesday I had a 7:30 am breakfast meeting/speech that ran until 1 pm. Then, a presentation to a division that went from 2-2:15. I had to drive across town (22.5 miles, each way), to let out my dogs, work on my next speech and change. This was all in order to be back across town for my next presentation from 5-6:30 pm!  It was actually a great day and really engaging; however, I had this thought, "You know if I had to pay a babysitter/nanny for this day it would have been $120!  So, that's going to have to change in my future."  I love how my body and brain are starting to get ready for this little one. It is nice to bE going through thee changes because I feel my heart filling more with love and joy with what REALLY matters to me - and, deciding on the things, people and passions to which I will be giving my time, energy and talent. 

I am thrilled that my home study is this coming Wednesday. Plus, I am incredibly thankful for the support (emotionally and physically) with setting up the baby-to-be room. Sure hope you can swing by and see it, soon. 

P. S. My vacation plans to London sure will be better served later in the year so that I could use my three weeks of vacation time to complete mountains of paperwork on the adoption process and get the nursery ready.  It has been a great trip, this far. 

Fun + Responsibility=?

I was afforded the opportunity to present my lecture on “How You Learn Best & Learning Styles”  to 28 students during the summer, “New Student Boot Camp” hosted on West Campus, August 10 – 15^th, 2014.  Over the summer I have been researching the effect of "Healing the Child Within," by Charles Whitfield, M.D. and its impact on learning.  So, it was my pleasure to deliver this first presentation to these engaged students who committed to a full week of eight-hour days to review and reinforce mathematics, literacy, and student success skills.  

I opened my 40-minute session with the question, “How can you connect the words fun and responsibility?”  After a moment of pause, students needed some encouragement and were partnered with a peer for 3 minutes to reflect on my question.  

The answers from the audience were astounding. 

“Well, life is fun and full of responsibilities,” said one student partnership. 

To dig a bit deeper I asked the student speaking to elaborate on their explanation. 

“You know, you kind of have responsibilities and such with life, but it also is a lot of fun.” 

Another engaged student partnership shared, “We thought that a requirement is something that you have to do, and to have fun you have to do something.” 

Wow!

The connections were starting to bubble up.  So, I blew some bubbles for them – and the student who bravely shared with the group was encouraged to go around the room and receive their high-fives from the participants.

It appeared that quite a few of the students were still muddy on the concept of fun and responsibility being linkable. So, I returned to the white board to capture individual feedback from students collecting their excellent responses.

 I shared, “You know I think college is both full of fun and responsibilities.  I mean, you are responsible to come to class, take and pass the tests, pay your tuition, fees, and such, but it is also fun because you get to meet new people, learn more about yourself and your world, decide on a career pathway, and engage in civic and cultural experiences.” 

To make this concept real for the students I moved to the computer, logged into “Pandora” and asked them to join me in a dance celebration for our hard work.  It was a hoot! Now they were starting to loosen up a bit and let their mind, body, and spirit start to connect with the lecture.  

After a brief moment to collect ourselves from the dancing break, I invited the students to watch the following video clip and answer the next question, “What evidence do you see in this video, which proves this individual used their strengths to achieve their dream?”  They were encouraged to use their recently warmed-up critical thinking engines (brains) and their new fun friends (buddies). 

"How Bad Do You Want It?"

While students watched the 5:50 minute video I drew the following on the board to collect their responses, see below.  Again students were partnered with peers to reflect on the video and formulate a response to the question.  However, this time the original student partnerships were matched with another set of students creating a group of four minds focused on this concept and they were offered five minutes.

Montez Bates, Manager of Learning Support Services (West Campus)

Amanda Da Giau, Tutorial Support Center Specialist, (West Campus)

The energy in the room was almost electric after this experience.  You could see students were fully immersed in the learning experience, and ready to personalize their pathways for success in college.  Additionally, Montez Bates, Manager of Learning Support Services (West Campus) and Amanda Da Giau, Tutorial Support Center Specialist, (West Campus) circulated the room to facilitate group discussion.

Students were requested to return to their seats, log in to their computer and access the website www.vark-learn.com to complete their Learning Styles “Questionnaire”.  While the students were working I drew the following double-bubble on the board, see below.  

As students completed their inventory to find their personalized learning style Montez Bates circulated the handout “Contract with the Universe - Sample List of Basic Human Rights”, by Jacy, see below scanned document, and were asked to leave their V.A.R.K. (Verbal, Auditory, Read/Write, Kinesthetic) learning style result results on their computer screen.   12 minutes later I asked students to slowly bring their process of completing their inventories to a close and to draw the above double-bubble on the back of their “Contract with the Universe - Sample List of Basic Human Rights”.  Next, I instructed the students to write down their on dominate learning style on the back of their paper (the V.A.R.K. which was the highest scored).   

To conclude my lecture I shared, “We all have unique strengths and skills, which make us learn best and study without stress.  Hopefully, you have just you're your personalized learning strength and will start to integrate the tips and tricks for your unique style and successful learning experience in college.  Unfortunately, in our society many students believe that learning only happens in one way - when you are sitting straight in your seat, quiet, and take lots of notes.  However, there are all sorts of ways individuals learn and function in our world.  Today I hope to have challenged your mindset on learning styles through an immersed experience.  I request you to answer my final question on your own, and we  will not complete the intersection of the double-bubble as I leave that to your wisdom.  "How will you be a success?"   It has been a true pleasure to spend time with you, today, and I wish you success in college at Valencia.”

At the end of my presentation it was a complete surprise to have a roaring round of applause from the audience, but most importantly it was a pleasant comment from a student in my lecture, while entering the women's restroom, which made my heart happy.
"You did really good," said the student.

"You know, I agree.  I had fun and completed my responsibility.  It is the joy of being at Valencia College.  Hope you enjoy it, too."

A family that floats together stays together

Splish, splash, family fun is floating down the springs in summer!  Ah, lazing on a tube down Itchetucknee Springs is one of my pleasures.  Add the experience with a campfire dinner the night before and you just can't get closer to heaven on Earth.

On Friday my sister and family, already at the springs at Blue Hole, were in full-Florida fun mode.  Later on, it was a hoot to see the caravan of RV's surrounding the campground and going on joy rides in the new convertible.  Who knew my cousin would make homemade ice cream sandwiches - complete with sprinkles and chocolate chips?  I could not have enjoyed a more delightful cake for my birthday.  Truly, I had no clue the weekend was going to turn into a birthday bash - I had heard about this family gathering back in May and decided we needed to join in.  Yes, I kind of crashed the family float fun - and I am so glad we did!

Although we did not have our RV's Mom and I did host a sleeping bag buddy in our hotel room. So, it was a little like a camping event - more like "glamping"(glamorous camping - thanks, Nicole Spottke).

The morning came oh so soon, yet it was time to rally and round up the crew - we needed to get out on that water! It was nice to have breakfast ready to roll in the hotel, and both Sean and Dylan were able to make their own waffles.  Unfortunately, there was a little mishap with the waffle pouring and Sean ended up with some of the batter on his shorts.  After a quick clean-up he said, "Well, guess the rest of it will just have to wash off in the river."  Gotta love that kid!

Right around 8:45 a.m. the RV crew came in, along with my dear friend Vanessa and her children Cassandra and Evan.  What a merry bunch!  After a quick "blow-up the tubes" session we were ready to roll!  At the mid-point entry, which we chose, a tram took us and our tubes to the entry point. This location was the best choice for us so that we could stop and have lunch and then do another afternoon float (if you choose the North entry you only get one float - even though it is a three hour event).

"Wahoo!" Time to get in that 72 degree water.  It was not an easy task for some, and yes, a tad scary for a moment when Evan fell off his tube.  Nial was the ever-ready athlete and hero helping to jump in and swim over to aid in the reunion of safety and assurance that all was going to be okay.  Gotta love that guy!  With child in boat, with my sister Kelly, we were ready to roll, and relax

While on my tube I enjoyed the view above me.  Watching the clouds, seeing the tree tops, and listening to splashing and chirping soothed out the recent stress of the week.  My ears and eyes were soaking in new-found joys and savoring the moments like I was meditating on a mat - well, a mat that was floating down a river with lots of fun, family members around me.  True bliss!

About an hour and a half later we were at our end point.  I could not believe that from simply floating, and doing not a whole lot of exercise, that I could be so hungry, but I was ready to eat.  If breaking break is a way for family and friends to connect, we sure do have that skill mastered.  My friend, Vanessa, said, "You all are amazing.  There was just no picnic tables together and voila you all picked up some random picnic benches, carried them over to put them in a group, and even have tablecloths!  Wow!"  Yes, I have to be a bit proud of my family - we just get it done.  After all, it was time to eat.  :-)

For our afternoon float we chose to walk down the beautiful, and looked to be newly updated, boardwalk instead of taking the tram.  Crowds had finally arrived, much differently than the morning float, and in many ways I looked forward to the walk.  Doing so took my mind far away from current Florida and back into what must have been the "good ole' days" of Florida living.  Yes, a tad nostalgic, but none the less, a retreat not only for my body, but also my mind.  Walking and wandering further through the woods I was able to chat with my cousin, Loretta, and enjoy some moments with my cousin, Kris.

Our second float was fun, but sure more of a FL theme park style with tubes bumping into each other the entire time and quite a bit of chaos - from our scared Evan, and others.  Luckily, I had the peaceful memories of the first float to draw upon and took this turn of events with the packed river/springs to be a version of an afternoon roller coaster ride.  Florida parks sure do offer diverse experiences - not only in their various habitats, but also with the varied experiences based on the impact of visitors at any given time.

The day came to a close with our final float.  Mom, Nial, Kelly, and crew headed up to GA.  I headed down to Orlando.  Vanessa and crew stayed to soak up more of the springs.  All the other family members returned to the campground for another campfire night.  All in all a summer fling of fun was had by all - even family friends joined in the merriment and made the day a marvelous memory. Oh, and let me tell you, this crew knows how to live, laugh, and love - even to lounge.

An Endowed Chair Recipient takes a Seat

An Endowed Chair Recipient takes a Seat

Our generous donors must know how valuable it is to start the conversation on special needs students of all styles with faculty.  Many students at the community college simply cannot afford the testing needed to get OSD services.  So, many instructors (administrators and staff) need to serve these students regardless of paperwork proving their needs.  More than 70 participants and 10 key leaders/stakeholders at the college joined in my "Building Bridges for OSD and Faculty" experiences during my 2013-2014 William C. Demetree, Jr. Endowed Chair for Special Needs year.  Further, it pleases me that I served students by providing a technological advantage to taking their final exams in a similar format to other non-OSD students using our testing centers. 

Karen Cowden checking in Instructor, Denise McKnight

Instructors discuss a student scenario and create solutions

Originally, with my $3400 most of the funds were set aside for hiring interpreters to produce the Interpreted Testing videos and production. However, in the spirit of collaborative design and internal, invested partners, I only had to expend $1300 for the interpreters, and the production was generously donated by the college through "Valencia Productions" (thank you, Michael Maguire).  These partnerships allowed me to fund not only one, but two "Learn with OSD and Faculty" sessions, but also, to purchase 8 "Live Scribe ECHO" pens for student use housed within the West Campus OSD offices. As a special treat I was able to provide all participants of the training sessions a Valencia pencil and pen with all resources copied and placed in a Valencia College shopping bag (generously donated by the west campus bookstore).

Deborah Larew, Ed. Director of Office with Students with Disabilities, sums-up the experience, nicely, “I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your support of the OSD in your “Welcome Back” yesterday.  Your grant has come along beside us, and has really opened doors that we could never open alone.  I was skeptical that we would have many faculty members attend but was shocked at the huge turnout. I know that is due to your support and involvement.” 

Collaboration between Librarians and Faculty

Thank you to the William C. Demetree, Jr. family.  It pleases me you entrusted my skills to serve students, faculty, administrators, and staff by providing a space to hold crucial conversations, to forge solutions for our students, and collaborate at the college.

Presenters: PHOTO ON LEFT: Karen Cowden, (Endowed Chair Recipient and Faculty Member)
Deborah Larew, Ph.D. (OSD Director), Stephanie Crosby (OSD Staff) Trish Anderson (OSD Staff), Crystal Smith, (English Instructor) and Mary Ashbury (OSD Staff) PHOTO ON RIGHT: Chris Cuevas (OSD Staff)

Instructors sharing a meal and building bridges.

Singing soothes the Soul

Singing soothes the Soul

Karen starts off the afternoon with "Summertime".

At every one of holiday gatherings, or even in car rides to the store, there was song. Singing was regular occurrence in our family.  So, it seemed like a natural fit to celebrate my mother’s recent birthday with a “sing-a-long”.  Who knew over 38 people would come and join in – but, that is how my mother “rolls” – with lots of folks surrounding each other with love and merriment.  "You are the best person to give a party for because you show your joy and are so expressive ...you could have been a mime!" said Betty Brunisma.

Pam, Helen, Mike, Kathy, and Betty - what a crew!

Betty, my mother’s dear friend, opened her home to host this event on Sunday afternoon, July 13^th and I could not have been more grateful as she has the perfect set-up/space for such a “gig”.  In the center front room lays a grand piano under a brand-new wrought iron chandelier where Betty’s crew arranged audience seating in a concert/amphitheater design.  I am not sure whether she purchased her new couch just for this event, but it was the perfect fit –we had a full house! Mike Lamy, pianist, made me sound ever so great while at the microphone.  He is a genuinely talented artist who brings beaming energy, while fighting ammonia on the brain from the medicine to cure his disease.  Even with this struggle he stays right on cue while playing piano and belting out tunes from the 1940’s and 50’s.

Mike Lamy brings joy and smiles with songs!

Mike engaging the audience to join in the fun!

Whoa, was I under the “gun”!  Mike just rolls these tunes out of his pipes like a free-flowing waterfall; however, I need months of practice.  Betty and I had worked on transposing songs into my key during the prior months (late January through March).   She wanted to work on transposing skills and I needed to refocus from my struggle with insomnia and panic towards something more harmonious in my heart.  Together it was a perfect number of sessions, and while there we both realized we should host another concert similar to the one she and Pam organized back in Christmas time, 2013.  Truly, I had no idea he would change-up my routine during our quick practice. I sang a total of six songs, “Summertime,” “The Girl from Ipanema,” “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina” “Somewhere My Love,” “Put on a Happy Face,” and “Bill Bailey” and three of these songs were added to my list just on Wednesday before the event.

One generous group - Pam shares our desire to collect donations for Mike's efforts

In some ways, the whole event seemed like de ja vu as Betty’s dream nights before we decided to plan this day was of Christmas trees and organizing of donations for Mike.  Talk about “Christmas in July”! 

Kelly, Karen and Kathy - what a family!

Mom bring Merriment to All!

As her daughter I was full of joy while observing her “world” – individuals from the Friday night group she attends, other friends from her Sunday gatherings, and even some others from her Sunday mornings at the Unitarian Universalist church, and her real estate life.   It made perfect sense that Betty had prepared photos of their travels around the world, which were scrolling on the television screen off to the left hand side of the room during the party.

My sister, Kelly, flew in for the experience making this is a delightful mother-daughter memory – along with the 36 other friends!  Looking around the room I saw my mother seated in middle of the room surrounded by various friends/support she has built for herself over her many years of spreading her love and warmth throughout the community. 

Helen and Cathy G. Singing A Long

Karen, Vanessa, Cassandra and Amy - good friends 

Thankfully, my dear friend, Brenda Jordan, joined me in the Sunday food preparation, and others like Helen Lawrence, Pam, Beth, Gerard and Stephane (visitors from France staying at Betty’s home) rallied to lend a hand in organizing and coordinating the day.  Otherwise, I would have needed to hire an army to pull all the parts together.  Actually, in some ways these fine folks are the army/band.  Everyone did join in the sing-a-long experience either humming to a tune or two, or even using the printed lyrics provided for “Somewhere My Love,” and “Bill Bailey. 

Mother and Daughter

There’s no better, simpler, way to summarize the day than the quote on my mother’s wall in her family room, “Make each day your masterpiece,” anonymous.  Kathy Cowden – my mother  - has made it a wonderful world sure has done that, and much more.  Happy Birthday to you, Mom!  We love you for all you are, and how your life shines forth with song.