Why I avoid cleaning the bathrooms

I have lived by check lists and usually cleaning the bathrooms is on that list. Well, it is still on the list, but from a different perspective. 

In my house daily, yes, daily there is cleaning to be done. You all know what I mean - the dogs come in from the house and you have to re-sweep the floors. Or, the water in the sink splashes and you have to re-mop the floors. Somedays I wish my prince would come rescue me out of my "Cinderella" life, especially because I would get those shoes and hopefully a housekeeper!  But, since that fairy tale is a fiction I decided for every chore on my "to-do" list I decided to add a choice. So, today I choose to celebrate my friend who finished her first half marathon, snuggle with my dogs, talk with my mother, and see my friend. I think instead of my "to do" list mentality I am making a "to be" daily agenda and for today top on the list is to be full of health and happiness. Well, now that I think about it my new list will include cleaning the bathrooms, but reframed in a way that I may actually get it done!

ChoreMonster is an effective tool to support children in developing executive function skills.

Just found a cool app that allows parents to engage with chore duties in a fun, techno-savvy, way.  Such a creative company and one I sure wish I had thought of to invent.

https://www.choremonster.com/press

Also, I enjoyed reading some of their blog posts on ways to calm childhood nightmares, innovative fall chore lists, and more; along with the post for parents and professionals.

http://blog.choremonster.com/

Single woman adoption and sexism - a no tolerance zone!

Parenting by any measure is a tough/life changing job. When adding adoption as a single gal to the mix most folks say, "Wow! You must really have energy!"  Or, "I could never do it."  I find such comments odd, yet not unusual. Folks do not regularly know what they can handle and I believe it is because they may not have planned well enough. Since I love by my Aunt Pat's motto, "Prior planning prevents a poor performance" I really do not feel unprepared to be a parent, however the universe beings a baby to me. 

Just recentlg another single, adoptive mother-to-be posted that she had gotten her first negative comment for wanting to adopt as a single gal. My response is below, 

"You are an amazing angel who is willing to share her home and her heart with another beautiful being to help them experience a lovely life, learn, laugh, grow, flourish, heal, and inspire. Frankly, I don't tolerate those who live by 1900 values where it was okay to be rude to women, take away their voice.  It is completely unacceptable and I immediately nip it in he bud because sexism (well, actually any -ism) is just utter ignorance and needs to be shaken up to be stopped!  

I must have done something backwards because I started with getting all the support I would need/want before even calling a home study agency. Then, I hired my attorney (kind of made me feel it was official and I had some backbone). Next, I asked a friend to do my home study, which didn't pan out so I called Connecting Hearts to do my study. Amy was great and helped share my story even invited me to a free "A Family of My Own" conference where I learned so much great stuff. Now, I am waiting to hear if the birth mother chose me as she's in with her counselor today. Basically, though this whole process when I felt worried or wondered about my abilities to "do it" all my support team stepped up and said, "You are a perfect mother."  Keep repeating that mantra to yourself and be the brave voice your child needs you toward the way for a better world."

Labor Day....labor of love in the kitchen

Happy Labor Day to all!  As I sit in the family room at my mother's home watching the sunrise over the lake I am reminded that the world is a beautiful place.  This week I have been struggling with the challenges that naturally come from deciding to hire someone to deliver a baby for you.  Truly, it has been a week where the emotional pain of realizing that I cannot carry a child of my own, on my own, has been a bit too overwhelming. 

Saturday I spent the good part of the morning have a delightful time cooking homemade lentil burgers and salmon patties.  I put everything except the kitchen sink in those things - carrots, zucchini, sundried tomatoes, fresh herbs, and more.  In the end I think I made over 45 burgers/patties.  Then, I made a fresh broccoli salad with craisins and slivered almonds.  Talk about a full fridge!  It dawned on me, while wearing my apron and humming to music in the background, that I am pouring loads of love into my food so that my body, and family, can be healthy, strong, and ready for action/adventure.  Then, a horrible thought, actually, a few thoughts, flooded my mind regarding my potential birth mother's Saturday.  Wonder what someone in that condition might be doing on her weekend?  Questions keep flooding my mind:

"What if the birth mother really does take drugs during her pregnancy?"
"I bet a birth mother is probably not cooking up a storm of solid, organic foods over a few hours on a Saturday.  Wonder what that will do for the baby?"

To spare you I decided not to write up my entire list because frankly I will have no control over what she does or does not do with her body and during birth.  It has become a very freaky experience and in some ways making me fret the whole process.  Even now I am researching egg and sperm donors to see if I can carry a child, even if I do not have the joy of giving it some of my genetics.  At least it will be raised in a house that has amazing food!

Free fun and art!!

Hi all,

Last week my friend Christine was coloring a picture with her own photo on it. I thought it was a hoot and such fun!  So, I asked for info. Crayola let's you upload your own photos and make personalized coloring pages with them. 

Here's the Crayola info. 

Go to www.crayola.com

Select "Playzone"

Then, "Lights, camera, action!"

Type in code:  C9PBY9PJ

Make sure to allow the video to play as selecting "Skip" cuts off the program and you have to start over. 

Enjoy!

Choices, Changes, and Confidence

Whoa!  This is been a BUSY first week back to work, and it has taught me I will be deeply changing in many areas of my life when I have a sweet, young one. 

I feel quite unbalanced with work, family, friends, pets, health, chores, and other responsibilities. Mostly I am realizing how difficult and expensive "extra" requests will be in my future. For example on Wednesday I had a 7:30 am breakfast meeting/speech that ran until 1 pm. Then, a presentation to a division that went from 2-2:15. I had to drive across town (22.5 miles, each way), to let out my dogs, work on my next speech and change. This was all in order to be back across town for my next presentation from 5-6:30 pm!  It was actually a great day and really engaging; however, I had this thought, "You know if I had to pay a babysitter/nanny for this day it would have been $120!  So, that's going to have to change in my future."  I love how my body and brain are starting to get ready for this little one. It is nice to bE going through thee changes because I feel my heart filling more with love and joy with what REALLY matters to me - and, deciding on the things, people and passions to which I will be giving my time, energy and talent. 

I am thrilled that my home study is this coming Wednesday. Plus, I am incredibly thankful for the support (emotionally and physically) with setting up the baby-to-be room. Sure hope you can swing by and see it, soon. 

P. S. My vacation plans to London sure will be better served later in the year so that I could use my three weeks of vacation time to complete mountains of paperwork on the adoption process and get the nursery ready.  It has been a great trip, this far. 

Fun + Responsibility=?

I was afforded the opportunity to present my lecture on “How You Learn Best & Learning Styles”  to 28 students during the summer, “New Student Boot Camp” hosted on West Campus, August 10 – 15^th, 2014.  Over the summer I have been researching the effect of "Healing the Child Within," by Charles Whitfield, M.D. and its impact on learning.  So, it was my pleasure to deliver this first presentation to these engaged students who committed to a full week of eight-hour days to review and reinforce mathematics, literacy, and student success skills.  

I opened my 40-minute session with the question, “How can you connect the words fun and responsibility?”  After a moment of pause, students needed some encouragement and were partnered with a peer for 3 minutes to reflect on my question.  

The answers from the audience were astounding. 

“Well, life is fun and full of responsibilities,” said one student partnership. 

To dig a bit deeper I asked the student speaking to elaborate on their explanation. 

“You know, you kind of have responsibilities and such with life, but it also is a lot of fun.” 

Another engaged student partnership shared, “We thought that a requirement is something that you have to do, and to have fun you have to do something.” 

Wow!

The connections were starting to bubble up.  So, I blew some bubbles for them – and the student who bravely shared with the group was encouraged to go around the room and receive their high-fives from the participants.

It appeared that quite a few of the students were still muddy on the concept of fun and responsibility being linkable. So, I returned to the white board to capture individual feedback from students collecting their excellent responses.

 I shared, “You know I think college is both full of fun and responsibilities.  I mean, you are responsible to come to class, take and pass the tests, pay your tuition, fees, and such, but it is also fun because you get to meet new people, learn more about yourself and your world, decide on a career pathway, and engage in civic and cultural experiences.” 

To make this concept real for the students I moved to the computer, logged into “Pandora” and asked them to join me in a dance celebration for our hard work.  It was a hoot! Now they were starting to loosen up a bit and let their mind, body, and spirit start to connect with the lecture.  

After a brief moment to collect ourselves from the dancing break, I invited the students to watch the following video clip and answer the next question, “What evidence do you see in this video, which proves this individual used their strengths to achieve their dream?”  They were encouraged to use their recently warmed-up critical thinking engines (brains) and their new fun friends (buddies). 

"How Bad Do You Want It?"

While students watched the 5:50 minute video I drew the following on the board to collect their responses, see below.  Again students were partnered with peers to reflect on the video and formulate a response to the question.  However, this time the original student partnerships were matched with another set of students creating a group of four minds focused on this concept and they were offered five minutes.

Montez Bates, Manager of Learning Support Services (West Campus)

Amanda Da Giau, Tutorial Support Center Specialist, (West Campus)

The energy in the room was almost electric after this experience.  You could see students were fully immersed in the learning experience, and ready to personalize their pathways for success in college.  Additionally, Montez Bates, Manager of Learning Support Services (West Campus) and Amanda Da Giau, Tutorial Support Center Specialist, (West Campus) circulated the room to facilitate group discussion.

Students were requested to return to their seats, log in to their computer and access the website www.vark-learn.com to complete their Learning Styles “Questionnaire”.  While the students were working I drew the following double-bubble on the board, see below.  

As students completed their inventory to find their personalized learning style Montez Bates circulated the handout “Contract with the Universe - Sample List of Basic Human Rights”, by Jacy, see below scanned document, and were asked to leave their V.A.R.K. (Verbal, Auditory, Read/Write, Kinesthetic) learning style result results on their computer screen.   12 minutes later I asked students to slowly bring their process of completing their inventories to a close and to draw the above double-bubble on the back of their “Contract with the Universe - Sample List of Basic Human Rights”.  Next, I instructed the students to write down their on dominate learning style on the back of their paper (the V.A.R.K. which was the highest scored).   

To conclude my lecture I shared, “We all have unique strengths and skills, which make us learn best and study without stress.  Hopefully, you have just you're your personalized learning strength and will start to integrate the tips and tricks for your unique style and successful learning experience in college.  Unfortunately, in our society many students believe that learning only happens in one way - when you are sitting straight in your seat, quiet, and take lots of notes.  However, there are all sorts of ways individuals learn and function in our world.  Today I hope to have challenged your mindset on learning styles through an immersed experience.  I request you to answer my final question on your own, and we  will not complete the intersection of the double-bubble as I leave that to your wisdom.  "How will you be a success?"   It has been a true pleasure to spend time with you, today, and I wish you success in college at Valencia.”

At the end of my presentation it was a complete surprise to have a roaring round of applause from the audience, but most importantly it was a pleasant comment from a student in my lecture, while entering the women's restroom, which made my heart happy.
"You did really good," said the student.

"You know, I agree.  I had fun and completed my responsibility.  It is the joy of being at Valencia College.  Hope you enjoy it, too."